Siang Wun Song

S. W. Song [15], W. S. Song, S. Siang, S. W. Sing, W. W. Song, A. Song,
   W. W. Wun, W. Song, S. W. Siang, S. S. Wun, W. W. Song, P. Sing Sing,
    W. W. Sing, Sing One Song, Sing Two Songs, S. W. Siang, S. Siang,
        T. T. Ting, W. W. Wy, M. M. Me, W. W. Worry, B. S. Song,
             W. W. Siang, S. S. Song, Rin Tin Tin, Won Ton Ton
    


                     Universidade de São Paulo
                Instituto de Matemática e Estatística
                Departamento de Ciência da Computação
                   R. do Matão, 1010 - 05508-900
                       São Paulo, SP - Brasil

In recent years there has been considerable interest in the evaluation of the scientific production of researchers [45, 67, 68, 90, 107]. In particular considerable attention has been given in the media by publishing lists of the most cited researchers [4, 6, 70]. In this paper [56] we present some important hints for anyone eager to join these lists.

As you can notice, we start by citing our own paper [56]. (Depending on how the counting is done, recursive citation may give you amazing results.) In order to be cited by someone it is necessary to have a great number of published papers [41, 42, 56, 57, 58, 59]. Our previous papers [34, 56, 60, 64, 66-74, 156-198] discussed the LPU (least publishable unit) method. By using this method, one of our colleagues in the Math. Dept. reportedly has published more than five hundred case-study papers based on a theorem that he later proved by induction. Another method to mass paper production is to have a large group of coauthors (see this paper as an example), with the commitment that every single paper produced by any member of the group be coauthored by the entire group [2, 4, 5, 21, 25, 26, 28, 77, 81, 82, 83].

The next step is crucial. In any paper you write, cite all your previous papers [1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 23, 24, 27, 32, 34, 37, 42, 44, 49, 68, 69, 76, 79, 84, 88, 89, 92, 94, 103]. Finally we emphasize the special case of this paper [56] where authors with similar names can further increase the amount of citations, due mostly to counting errors [12, 55, 169, 305].